The Haircut

--- One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
 
--- After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I 
cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The 
florist was pleased and left the shop.
 
--- When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 
'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
 
--- Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his 
bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing
community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.
 
--- The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank 
you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
 
--- Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his 
bill, the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm 
doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and 
left the shop.
 
--- The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen 
Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
  
--- And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between 
the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
 
BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME 
REASON!

Creative Police Reports, Justice and Karma still abound in America. :)

Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta , Georgia , told police he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket.

When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.

Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the "Toys for Tots" program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of the Marines, a Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back; the injury did not appear to be severe.
After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene, Cpl. Duggan was transported for minor treatment.

The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple facial contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a dislocated jaw
.
...injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off the curb after stabbing a US Marine. Now that was a well written Police report."

 

 

Those curbs can be dangerous Ooorah..

Sounds like Recon

Now I knew a couple of jar heads, would respond to this post with smileys. Thanks Wags, and thanks Norm for your service to our great country. I cant thank you two enough. I may be a critic of wars, but I bow to you both in respect to your service. God bless ya all in all you do!

A young cowboy from Texas goes off to college.

Half way through the semester, having foolishly

squandered all his money .... he calls home.

"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education

is developing! They actually have a program here in Missoula

that will teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!"

"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue

in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says

"and I'll get him in the course."

So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester,

the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you

just won't believe this -- they've had such good results

they have started to teach the animals how to read!"

"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue

in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem.

At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog

can neither talk, nor read.

So he shoots the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father

is all excited.

"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read

something and talk!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday

morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole' Blue was

in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading

the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does".

"Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your daddy

still messing around with that little redhead who lives

down the street?"

The father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot

that danged dog before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

The kid went on to law school, and now serves in

Washington D.C. as a Congressman.

I apologize in advance

Remember, when your in trouble, not everyone that comes is your friend.


As seen at Wal Mart







 

I dont care who you are are, that was funny!

CAUTION - CAUTION

An "Economy" butt lift after govt medical reform!

Nice ad for glue- Seam-it would work for that....

http://youtu.be/CHX-4cKEQH4

We all remember the KFC "Hillary Meal"--- two small breasts and two big thighs...

Now, KFC has announced an addition to their chicken dinners. It's called the Obama Cabinet Bucket. It consists of nothing but left wings and a**holes

Apple Rules!

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant called the iTit that can store and play music.

The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them. 

For all the ladies out there, this made me smile!

Marrying a TEXAS Girl

The first man married a woman from North Carolina . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from South Carolina . He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from TEXAS. He ordered her to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

Lenny,
I laughed so hard, I cried.  Thanks!
Texas is not the only state that produces those kind of women.  Just ask my sons and my husband.

Linda,

I had a bartender fella down here in Texas tell me people keep coming in and ordering a drink called the "Bin Laden".

I inquired what the heck is a "Bin Laden"?

He replied "TWO SHOTS AND A SPLASH OF WATER"

Funny stuff. I can't believe I am the butt of your cruel jokes. We use dust masks and that guy clearly did not.

First campaign ad for 2012. Obama Energy Plan. Its brilliant and based on science. I smell another Nobel prize in the works!

See HERE